I'm Free Now
by dev124
Summary: Kellin is a big fan of Pierce The Veil and he have the opportunity to know personaly the band members and spend some time with them owing to an accident ... sorry if any part is confusing because I don't have a native English T T
1. It was Magic

**Kellin POV**

When I arrived my best friend home she said she would take me to a place and that I would love it but seriously I thought she would take me to my parents home... but no, she take me to the Pierce The Veil show and it was magic. I am a big fan of them and I had no idea that they would have a show tonight. I get really excited when we were at the door of the show and I realized what it was. The show was awesome, I didn't want it to end, but quickly ended, probably because I was loving every second and time went faster. at long time that I did not had fun and I can't describe this.

Now my friend take me to the autograph part and I don't know how to look at them and what to say to them, probably somethig like ''I love your music, you saved my life'' but i think tahts to common, I want to say something different but when I start thinking about the times when I heard them songs I quickly I feel really bad because for almost a year I didn't listen to their music. It has been very difficult for me ...

when I realized I was already half depressed and unwilling to smile and my turn was coming. my friend was first and then I was in front of vic for about 20 seconds without saying anything, he was looking at me waiting for a word. I had forgotten what I essayed before. Then he said ''hi, are you okay?'' and I suddenly dropped me from my thoughts and said'' h-hi .. h-hum ... I-I love your music'' with a fake half smile reminding me of my essay. he was still looking at me and had a worried expression. I feel so bad with myself.. I wanted to say alot of things but I forgot all of them... '' hum thanks'' said vic looking at me as if he knew that something was wrong. '' how old are you?'' and I said'' twenty-one'' '' what are you doing, working? school?'' '' I'm a while without doing anything but I design'' and then he asks me'' can I see some of your drawings?'' I was so surprised. Why does he want to see my drawings? ''can I?'' and I said ''y-yeah, sure'' and I asked my friend her iphone and she did not even ask why I wanted it like she always does but because of all that emotion she gave me the iphone and I went to see if she had my drawings in the pictures and she had. I gave the iphone to Vic and he was seeing until stopped in on of the pictures but I could not see whitch one. he looked at me with a smile on his face .. he was really beautiful ... and said '' you drew me, its really good'' I felt my face fire quickly .. why she has that picture over there! now what do I say? I must look like a stalker ... '' h-hum .. I didn't want to show this'' ''ow sorry'' and he gave me back the iphone... I was so embarrassed. and he said'' I really liked to sign it. to prove that I had seen and that I liked. when you see me the next time I want you to bring me this drawing for me to sign. k?'' ''k-kay..'' and he smiled at me.

After having a poster signed by all members, we went back to my friend's house.  
if Vic had only said hello I would feel really bad .. I'm so glad that he continued to talk with me.

Notes

small chapter but I will update soon  
sorry for the poor english :C  
not even know if I gave many or few errors -.-  
if someone wants to make the revision for me I would be very happy *u*  
send me a message if you want to make the revision before I launch the chapters ^^  
comment if you like~~~  
Love you 3


	2. Panic Attack

**Vic POV**

our show is tonight. We're on our bus stopped in front of a supermarket because Mike had exhausted with the drinkable water and we had stopped to buy some bottled water and some snacks. I went to the window to see why they were taking so long and saw a boy running very quickly and looking back as if someone were pursuing him.. and then he get in the supermarket. he went to the counter to ask something like 'where is the bathroom' and the woman showed the boy some stairs that were on the right side. He went down the stairs quickly ... he looked very tired as if he had run a mile at that speed. he had the white skin, and was dressed in a gray skinny jeans a red vans and a blue tee. he had a feminine silhouette a bit but it was not like he looked like a girl.

Jaime and Mike returned to the bus and I went back to look out the window curious to see if the boy had already left and I saw him out of the supermarket with different clothes. A gray skinny jeans, a black sweater, a black vans, a black beanie and a sunglasses. hardly looked like the same person. I noticed that he had a genre of travel bag as if he had prepare for travel or as if he had running away from somewhere ...he walked a bit up to the stairs of a building, and sat on them. he seemed sad .. as if he were lost in the world. as if he hadn't nobody ... ''Vic? what are you staring?'' was mike ''ow nothing, just looking'' I said getting up to prevent him from seeing the boy on the stairs. Mike went over to Tony to give him snacks and I looked back at the boy. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but .. '' hey, let's play on a little bit ...'' was Jaime. Mike grabbed my arm and led me to Jaime we started playing that game. the bus began to move.

show time and as always we were a bit nervous but everything went well and it was a great show. came time to give autographs. was amazing, I love my fans they are awesome. I received some gifts from them and I am very grateful to them all. was nearing the end of the queue of people for autographs. and when I look up to see the person who was next to be able to greet, I saw that boy in front of me. black hair, bluish gray eyes .. he's beautiful .. but he had that sad expression on his face as if he were ready to cry. some fans cry with emotion when they come to us but this was not the case. he was really sad about anything, seemed distracted. we both had stared for 20 or 30 seconds. he did not say anything so I decided to start'' hi, are you okay?'' he seemed to have 'woken up' of his thoughts and he said ''h-hi.. h-hum... I love your music'' he forced himself to smile. I really wanted to know what was happening but I couldn't ask him again, he could start crying and I do not want to see him cry ..  
he continued to look at me without saying anything so I went back a conversation with him'' how old are you?'' and he said twenty one, and it was interesting to know that he was only three years younger than me. to continue I asked '' what are you doing, working? school?'' '' I'm a while without doing anything but I design'' I was quite interested in 'what kind of drawings the boy do?' so i asked '' can I see some of your drawings?'' he seemed surprised stopping a little bit to think so I insisted '' can I?'' and then he said yes stammering a little bit. he asked the Iphone to the girl who was beside him talking to Mike and she gave it to him quickly without paying much attention on him. the boy was for a few seconds checking anything on the Iphone and then he gave it to me. I was looking at the pictures of his awesome drawings until reaching a drawing of myself. it was incredible! I really wanted to see that drawing closely, it seemed almost a photo and not a drawing. I quickly smiled. '' you drew me, its really good'' he stopped and looked a little surprised like he didn't want me to saw that drawing. he blushed, he was so cute with that pink tone in his face ... what am I thinking! he is my fan! I can't see him in another way! but he is so fucking beautiful... he said, interrupting my thoughts '' h-hum .. I didn't want to show this''. ''ow sorry'' I excused myself as I gave back the Iphone to him. I needed to see him again, I did't want this to be the last time I saw him then I got an argument to see him again '' I really liked to sign it. to prove that I had seen and that I liked. when you see me the next time I want you to bring me this drawing for me to sign. k?'' he answered slowly ''k-kay..'' and I smiled at him signing a poster.

had been a week since that show .. I thought sometimes in that boy, I remembered his face, his eyes, his sad expression, his fake smile ...  
we had returned to the city of the last show to catch anything from a friend of Tony, he said he had borrowed and that he was picking back. I was also hoping to see the boy again ... I dreamed about him a few times since that day .. during that week must have dreamed about him maybe 5 times ... I could not get him out of my head. I needed to see him again.

As we walked along the street, we walk up to the other side of a crosswalk and I heard someone calling our names. when I turn to see who would be I saw the boy running in my direction carrying the same bag trip but this time with a tube that looked for .. oh probably it was where he had his drawings. I smiled at him. he ran very fast and was crossing the crosswalk when a truck came. him suddenly stopped of running in the middle of the crosswalk when he realized of the Truck. I ran so fast as I could pushing the boy out of the crosswalk falling down on top of him. I noticed that he had landed on top of that tube, him probably had pretty hurt but he didn't made a single sound. his eyes were wide open. he was in shock. a tear trickled down his face. I shouted ''HEY ARE YOU OKAY? HEY!'' and I wiped that tear from his face. he seemed to 'wake up', as if he'd finally realized what really happened. he looked like he was going to cry but people start to gather around us and looking at him asking if he was okay and if he had something hurting. some people were shouting. everyone at the same time, I didn't realize half of what people said. he started to look around for the people. restless. still with the eyes very open, he looked very scared. his breath began to get fast and irregular. Tony was already near us and sent people move away and call an ambulance. when he looks at the boy he quickly says'' he's having a panic attack Vic! look for a sack. fast!'' when I looked back at the boy, he almost could not breathe and he was rolling his eyes to the inside. I got scared. I quickly started looking for a sack in his bag while I went out to him and found one. I tried to get him to breathe into but he just breathed two or three times and then he fainted. I could already hear the sirens of the ambulance. and I started calling him'' hey! wake up, the ambulance is coming, just a little more .. hey!''. he didn't woke up and the ambulance had already arrived. they put him on the stretcher and took the boy into the ambulance with an oxygen mask. the man who came in ambulance asked ''someone here knows this person?'' I quickly replied ''I know him'' and he told me to come. I took the boy's tube and bag and I walked into the ambulance sitting next to him. Tony shouted outside the ambulance that he was going to tell to Mike and Jaime about what happened so I didn't need to worry about. the man started driving the ambulance up to the hospital and I was looking at the pale face of the boy...

Notes

hope you like it x3  
I am sorry if something is confusing. T^T  
comment or send me a message if you have any idea x3  
Love you~~ 3


	3. Kellin's Past

**Vic POV**

the boy was still on the stretcher in the ambulance when I remember that I said that I knew him. I needed to know his name. but how? was then that I looked to my side and saw the tube of the boy. I removed the cover and noticed the name written on the inside. Kellin Quinn. the name fit perfectly in his beauty ... I can not think like that. he is a fan ... but .. I do not know .. I feel I have to protect him, even without knowing anything about him. just the name ... was a strange feeling.

We arrived at the hospital and when I walked into a nurse quickly asked me Kellin's name. but I couldn't say. I remember when he was running. and it seemed that he was hiding from someone. but also couldn't be it. but I decided to not risk saying that I only knew his first name. She also asked me what is my relation with him, and I decided to say I was his friend. She stared at me, probably thinking 'what kind of person does not know the last name of the friend' but She was silent without saying anything and hurried away carrying kellin's stretcher into an Operating room.  
I was waiting while kellin was inside it.  
was then that Mike texted me'' mike: sorry delay, we were delayed by paparazzi. we are in front of the hospital'' ''me: wait there for me'' ''mike: k''  
I went up to the front door of the hospital and there was Mike, Jaime and Tony. Tony asked'' how is he?'''' I do not know, he hasn't left the Operating room yet'' Mike gave me a pat on the back saying ''he will be alright'' I forced a smile and said ''yeah...''  
we went inside and another nurse informed us that Kellin had already left but now he was asleep so we couldn't staying too long in his room. we entered the room. he was wearing a mask oxinenio. the only thing I could hear was the Pip of the machine next to him and he breathing. sounds were good, they mean he was minimally well.  
I heard footsteps of someone running approaching. and the door opened. was a girl, seemed familiar to me. she looked at us and she closed the door leaving. we were looking at each other. past about 10 seconds the door opens again. was she again but this time decided to enter. Tony decided to start ''hum who are you?'' ''I'm Kellin's friend'' and I remembered that she was the girl who was at the show with Kellin. Mike said ''ow! I remember you. you were at our last show right?'' ''yes..'' she was too embarrassed then I asked ''how did you know that kellin was here?'' ''my friend told me that a boy had almost been run over near her bar but she was not sure if it was Kellin because it was a lot of people. then as kellin never came I have come to confirm and in the reception said that he was here''  
she decided to stay there with us waiting for him to wake up but eventually we have to leave the room and Tony, Mike and Jaime returned to the bus. I and the girl were waiting to be able to enter again. I said ''do you know why those fake smiles from kellin?'' and she lost the shame and started talking ''well... Kellin has a depression ... I think he just said that to me but .. I think you should know since you're here worried and waiting for him to wake up..''

* * *

One Year Ago  
**Kellin POV**

Had just received an order, I have to draw a woman to die .. is not one of the best order I've ever had but I had to do.  
when I got home I was greeted very well as always .. '' Where were you little shit?'' I ignored my father, and I knew I should not have done .. '' Aaahhhh! STOP!'' My father grabbed my hair pulling it and with his other hand pushed me to the floor  
'' I made you a question you little shit'' '' I was working!'' and he dropped my hair giving a kick in my stomach. I felt like throwing up, but didn't want to do it in front of him. and he turned to give me a kick but this time on the ribs. he turned back and grabbed one of his bottles of Malting and he was sitting up on the couch leaving me on the floor suffering. I went to the bathroom and took my blade ... I needed to do. then I cut myself once ... twice ... three times ... seven times .. passing to the leg and cutting over five times .. '' hey little shit, exits the bathroom!'' was my father and I was covered in blood. my breathing became faster with the nerves of having my dad at the door, I felt myself go into panic then cut back on the wrist as hard as I had courage to ... as if I were end with all. I felt my legs weaken and fall to the floor. I heard my father break down the door when he heard the sound of me falling on the floor. he didn't said nothing. I just saw his feet and suddenly I stopped seeing. then heard a desperate cry of my mother behind my father. probably was a shock to see me on the ground full of blood and almost fainted. just remember waking up in hospital. I had to stay there four days until being able to leave. was probably prevention so that I could not go back to do it but four days is not helping anyone. Not that I wanted to be there longer. When I returned home my father ignored me. but I knew it would not take long.

the next day I went to a bar with my best friend. her name is Alex and I love her. she introduced me a boy, his name was James. he was beautiful, and spoke very well with me .. it was a cool night. I slept at Alex's home, and I texted my mother for her not to worry and don't think I could have done the same or similar to five days ago. I spent the night texting James. he is awesome. I think I'm in love with him. Alex told me that James was Bi so I could have a chance but had to try. two days later I went to the beach with him and told him I was in love with him. he said he liked me too. I was so happy .. I expected he to kiss me but he didn't.. I don't have a lot of initiative in skin to skin contact in a relationship... I think after that we started dating ... one month later he still hadn't touched me ... he hadn't kissed me. but I do not care much, he was petting me, and gave me kisses on the cheek... it was nice. I loved him and he loved me, that was what mattered. a week later he noticed that I had some marks of the past .. of my father had hit me ... of my self harm.. and he asked me what had happened and I said it was a past thing. he insisted and I said that I didn't want to talk about it. I trusted him but I didn't want to ruin our 'happy' moment. then he yelled at me ... it broke my heart, I hadn't done on purpose I just didn't want to worry him. starting that day he stopped fondle me. and walked away from me ... I felt as an appendix in his life but I needed him to continue so I continued with him. playing the role of'' perfect bride '. one day I was at his house watching tv and he had left. when he returned he had been drunk. made me remember the days when my father would come home and beat me because of drinking and his fucking life. but James would never hit me. or at least I thought not. he came with a bottle of vodka in his hand and came close to me'' how are you little bitch? want some vodka? ow sorry already drank it all'' and hit me with the bottle in my back. it broke in the moment it hit on my back due to the force he had used. I fell on the floor. screaming in pain. maybe I had screaming for being disappointed too. I never expected him to hit me. He turned and gave me two kicks in the stomach causing me to vomit what I had just eaten. but had not finished, he just stopped spanking me when I fainted. When I woke up the next day he was sleeping on the couch. I went to the bathroom and took a shower to clean the dried blood in my body. I had new bruises.

Notes

sorry for the english (this becomes repetitive xD)  
this moment in history is when Alex is telling what happened in Kellin's life to Vic understand Kellin a bit more.  
I hope you are enjoying it.  
comment please!~~~ :3  
Love you 3


	4. Kellin's Past - Part 2

After showering, I went for a walk ... I needed to stop thinking about what had happened yesterday. I arrived at the park and decided to stop there and sit on the swing. after some thought I decided to forget what had happened. had probably been because of drinking ... probably ... I don't think he has beaten me for another reason ... he's my boyfriend right? .. he would never hit me right? ... I stopped thinking about it and decided to go back. when I arrived he was not lying on the couch. I heard the water coming from the bathroom. he was taking a bath. I remembered to prepare something for him to eat. when he reached the kitchen was already breakfast on the table. he was directing right up to the door. '' h-hum .. not gonna eat anything?'' he said ''I'm not hungry'' ... I was a little amazed at the answer .. he never said no to food. and .. He even thanked .. I don't look for gratitude when I do something, is not that. but he wont thank .. and .. neither say anything about yesterday ... is not that Kellin! he shouldn't remember! it has to be that ...

I went to see Alex, I haven't visited her in a while. I got to her apartment and knocked on the door '' ow Kellin, Hi!'' she told me to enter. we started talking about music and things that Alex likes to talk. like to talk with her about it because she gets excited and I ended up excited too. '' Kellin what is that on your arm?'' When I looked I saw that had a mark, a mark made by James probably. '' I must have hit up somewhere'' and I forced a smile but for her face didn't seem that she's convinced. '' Tell me the truth kellin, you know that you can't fool me'' she looked at me with a worried glance. '' I'm telling the truth'' I insisted and went back to force a smile. '' kellin you know that you can trust me'' I looked at the ground thinking for a while and ended up telling what happened. '' I don't know what to say ... is as you say, he drank to much, but even so was you Kellin! he shouldn't have done anything knowing it was you. much as had drunk he still could see you .. everything was fine in your relationship? you guys were upset?'' ''well, he did not touch me for a while ... he never touched me a lot but now no longer even touched me'' she said ''this may have been an excuse to make you break up with him'' ''w-what?..'' ''he may have done on purpose. but hit you that way'' I started to get impatient and force myself to not start crying ''but why would he want to break up with me?'' ''I don't know''. she ended up changed the subject after a minute of silence.

after an hour I returned home. James's car was already there. James was already at home. I went home. ''where were you?!'' ''what?'' ''don't you hear me? I asked where you were?!'' he was yelling at me. I started to remember what happened yesterday and I was afraid. '' I-I was a-at Alex place'' ''Who is Alex? you have betrayed me?'' ''n-no, Alex is my friend ... I-I had already talked about her ..'' he came to me ... I cringed. and he gave me a slap .. I started to cry. Not by pain. I cried because he was hitting me and he didn't seem to have been drinking. ''w-why...'' I said quietly almost incomprehensible. ''What?!" "why are you doing this?what have I done...?'' he caught me by the collar and started hitting me ''stop, please!'' he pushed me to the floor. and hit me a few more times. I was crying a lot. then he looked at me for a few seconds and walked out the door. I was on the floor crying .. when I gained some strength to get up until I went to the drawer that had knives. I took one sitting exhausted on the floor against the counter. I took the knife up to the wrist and began to cut. I never had done it since I had gone to the hospital last time, and now ... there I was bleeding, crying and in pain. I began to lose consciousness. seem to hear me and the door. I had my eyes half closed and tried to look but could Not see anything and I lost the consciousness.

When I woke up I was in the hospital again. a doctor came in and gave me a bag I knew. I probably had one similar. ''starting today you're interning in the hospital.''  
''w-what?! why?'' by the suicide attempt?... ''You should know'' that's what he's talking about? '' but can you tell me the reasons? I have no right to explain anything?'' '' you will be heard by a psychiatrist later. this bag was your mother who brought with your clothes and a few personal items'' I was standing there looking at him. and he left the room. I looked inside the bag were some magazines, clothing, withn a cover sheet, a holster and a letter. the letter said:  
**_  
it was Alex that chosen the magazines._**  
_**call me when you can.**_  
**Love you - Mom**

only this? can anyone explain me whats happening? ''Kellin come up here please'' I got up still with some pain in my body. I noticed that in the room had several beds. went to a genus of living room that had about 8 persons '' this is Kellin'' man introduced me making everyone started looking at me. '' be friendly to him'' then we went to a small room, there was a lady. was probably the psychiatrist. the men left the room ''sit please'' she said. I sat and asked ''why am I here?'' '' you were hospitalized because you beat yourself, and tried suicide several times'' I was in shock after hearing that. I just tried suicide twice .. I'm Not saying it's not much but were not 'several' times .. and ... I beat myself? ... I looked at her without saying anything. she began to ask some questions but I lost myself in my thoughts and I ended up answering 'yes' to everything. she sent me out ... I was still in shock. that's what James said? I hit myself? that's what my mom said too? and Alex? ''Kellin!'' was that man before, after all he is a nurse. I looked at him without any expression on my face. '' You have the right to make two phone calls'' I thought who was going to call ... Alex. I need to know what happened. and the other will be for my mom. the man gave me the phone. I called Alex. '' Hello?'' '' h-hum .. Alex is Kellin'' ''are you okay?!'' she said, almost shouting, she probably didn't expect me to call. '' More or less ... what happened? why am I here?'' '' your mother told me it was because of the suicide attempt .. what happened?James hit you again?'' '' yeah ... psychiatrist told me I was hospitalized for hitting myself ..'' ''WHAT!? I'm going to call your mother!'' ''I'll do it ... thanks for magazines..'' she sighed ''...you're welcome'' ''bye Alex'' ''bye'' and I hung up. then I dialed the number of my mom. I heard the sound that indicated she had answered the call. '' mom? .. what will happen to me? why lie? since when I hit myself?! why didn't you stay on the side of your own son?!'' I was so upset. she didn't said anything. ''if you keep without saying anything I hang up the call'' she kept without saying a single word. ''tsch...'' I hung up. I returned to the room. I lay in bed that I had woken up before. I closed my eyes. I felt something dripping down my face. I was crying. the days began to pass ... two calls a day ... without music ... without internete ... without any contact with the extrior ... the only things I could do was draw ... reread the journals Alex .. also tried to draw some things from magazines. were some other Rock Sound magazine Kerrang magazines, enato I drew pictures that were on the pages. I drew Vic from Pierce The Veil.

then also the months passed ... I felt worse every day .. was so bored being there .. I had to leave ... I started studying the wall that divided the outside of the internment of the rest of the hospital. we had a place for us to be outside. was a small space but at least we saw the sun.

* * *

_six months later_

is today. I'll leave here today. I talked to a guy who also was hospitalized, we were friends after talking sometimes. I asked him that when we are outside he pretend that he is having a tantrum clinging to the nurse who was on time to go outside. I sat in a chair that was near the wall but far enough for me to gain balance as I run up to it. had my stuff with me. the nurse asked me why I wanted to take the bag outside, I said it was entertaining myself to count the number of combinations of clothing that I could use. was almost time to go back inside. I motioned for the boy, he already could begin. he threw himself upon the nurse and started screaming. I got up slowly. then I started running in direction of the wall. after so much time thinking about the amount of force I had to use to the jump and how to get to the other side, and thinking what to do after leave. there was a map for escape in case of fire. I used it to know which side was the exit. I had everything ready. when I was running I heard the nurse yell my name. I never liked him anyway. I was at the right distance from the wall to jump. I grabbed my bag tightly and jumped. I got it. I went to the outside. I couldn't believe it. I was free, almost. I started running towards the exit of the hospital. I had some time until everyone know that I had run away because my friend is still grabbing the nurse. I got to the exit, I was finally out of that hospital. then I looked back and saw some nurses running in my direction. I continued to run. I ran without looking backwards for very long. I started running more for being happy and feel freer than running to escape. _**I'm Free Now**_. when I remembered why I was running I started to look back. I came to a supermarket. I asked the lady who was at the counter where the bathroom was. she pointed to some stairs on the right. I ran up to them. when I walked into the bathroom I started quickly change clothes. I didn't want to be recognized then a puz sunglasses. out of the supermarket. I walked up to the stairs of a building and sat beside me. was tired. I should have gone about three kilometers. I was happy but a little sad at the same time. I had to face the people I know. Alex .. my mom ... my dad ... James ... I'll try to avoid them except Alex. after being some time sitting there recovering, I started walking in the direction of Alex apartment. was not far away, I don't take long to arrive.

I arrived at Alex's apartment. finally. I knocked on the door. no one answered. I sat on the floor waiting for her to arrive. I ended up falling asleep. suddenly heard someone call my name '' Kellin?! Kellin! what are you doing here?'' it was Alex. ''Alex!'' I hugged her. I was so happy to see her. we walked into the apartment. she said excitedly ''I'll take you to a special place tonight. you'll love!'' ''where?'' I smiled ate her. ''surprize'' . time passed while I was there. I was impatient to stay overnight. I ended up falling asleep on the couch. I didn't sleep much in the hospital so I was resting to compensate. '' kellin ... it's time, get up for we leave.'' I awoke up with Alex's voice. I got up quickly. I was eager to know where we were going. we went in her car. we stopped in a place with lots of cars. had to stop away from the place. when we got to the door there was a lot of people. Alex sent me to look at what he said above the door .. said Pierce The Veil. I was so happy when I read that. I had left that hospital today after so long and I still would watch a Pierce The Veil show? I must be dreaming.  
But I'm not!

Notes

hope you like it!  
Kellin's past is finished.  
Please comment x3  
love you 3


End file.
